Doubt

Lately I have isolated myself from my whole environment. Now I am unsure whether I am on the right path.

Two years ago I decided to start studying at the university in order to obtain a degree in psychology. Ever since I’ve been living among textbooks, and my time is literally scheduled until the last second. In it, there is no room for friends, social gatherings, going outs, and such. I barely log in to my Facebook account, and show no interest for what is going on in the world. I have created my own little world of textbooks, learning, educational goals, lectures, papers, assignments, and hard work. Beside my studies, I’m only able to make some extra time for my job, and one of my hobbies: language learning. Thus, I study for the college, I go to work, and I attend French and Arabic language courses once a week. There is time for nothing else. I don’t know what my old friends do, I am not reading their posts on Facebook, I am not sending them feedbacks, I am not asking them how they are doing, I do not care about news, politics, and such.

doubtMy goal is noble. Obtaining a degree, and becoming a more prepared person. But humanly speaking, where am I? Am I also becoming a better person by ignoring the world, and focusing only on my own goals and plans? I have deprived the world of my attention and time, and I have rescheduled my life and rearranged my time so that every second of it works for me, serves me, while ignoring everybody else. I am not quite sure of being on the right path.

2 Comments

  1. Anonymous

    Your problem, my friend, may lie on the fact that you spend -or waste!- a great deal of time being absorbed in learning and studying in order to obtain degree (degree is first in the order of “things” you’ve set to achieve) and in truth, such attainment does not appeal to your true self.

    If you obtain a degree in the pursuit of something that you perceive is noble, something that appeals to you spiritually, you may feel quite the contrary.

    Reply
  2. Tom Pautler

    Peter: The world, these days, has become a sad, self-serving, frantic, and even ominous place—full of stuff and the meaningless pursuit of stuff. Since I’ve grown older [much older], I’ve come to realize that such distractions are empty preoccupations. Consequently, I now choose my activities with much greater care, devoting my time to things that yield greater personal fulfillment and emotional reward. My few friends I cultivate carefully, and the rewards thereof justify this care and nurturing. I suspect you’re on exactly the right track with the path you’ve chosen. Pace yourself and enjoy the results. AND…please know how much your musical gifts contribute to the spiritual well being of those you serve each Sunday morning. Yours is a special calling.

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